We all hurt our partner’s feelings, this is an unavoidable reality for all couples. But according to Dr. John Gottman, one of the major differences between happy and unhappy couples is that happy couples repair unresolved conflicts as they occur. Not addressing conflicts as they come up can lead to more hurt and further damage to your relationship over time. So how do you repair?
1) Make sure that you are in a calm space to be able to talk about it.
2) Admit responsibility for your part in the conflict and don’t make excuses for your behavior. Reassure your partner of your love for them.
3) Work together to try to understand why the conflict occurred.
This can be difficult to do when we are upset or angry, and takes an active commitment from both partners to repair early and repair often. Wondering where to start? Take some time with your partner to review this repair checklist and identify which phrases will work best for your relationship.
Source: Small Things Often Podcast: Little Repairs that have a Big Impact.